Does Your Pop Music Suck? Because Katy Perry Does.

/This post has been commandeered by guest blogger Don Bito/

Katy Perry: Cheap Zooey Deschanel knock-off? Definitely. Responsible for some of the most inane music and backwards lyrics in recent pop history? For sure. A sign of the coming apocalypse? Quite possibly.

But today, readers, Katy Perry is the catalyst of a blogging decision I may soon come to regret.

I’ve given a lot of thought to what I could possibly  say about Waking Up in VegasLyrically, this song is extra-spicy lame sauce.  While I (sort of) appreciate the weak attempt to weave some semblance of a story into the song, the lyrics fall into the same over-simplified and cliche-ridden trap as every other KP song I’ve heard.

(Such as Hot N Cold, which – by the way, can we talk about it for a(nother) second? – reads like a pre-school-level children’s book of opposites:

You’re hot then you’re cold

you’re yes then you’re no

you’re in then you’re out

you’re up then you’re down

My “B.” I meant “a pre-school-level children’s book of the most basic possible cliches of opposites.”)

It’s kind of a shame because the music video does a pretty amusing job of telling the story…but when KP sings lines like “You’re hungover and I’m broke,” “I lost my fake ID,” and “Did we get hitched last night?” it sounds like a 14-year-old kid writing a story about what they think it would be like to go to Vegas.

It’s safe to say that this song is suffering two major setbacks: 1) Katy Perry sings it and 2) Katy Perry wrote it (along with 2 other people. Mind: blown.)

But in spite of these things, readers, in spite of my own pretenses to good taste and sound judgment, in spite of the bile rising in my throat as I type these words, I cannot bring myself to say definitively that Waking Up In Vegas sucks.

It’s just so darn danceable.  It does, in fact, make me want to “get up and shake the glitter off my clothes” (as far as I’m concerned,  the one redeemable line/image in the song.)

Take from this what you will.  Personally, I will never play this song in my car with the windows rolled down. However, if it happens to play while I’m (drunk and) in sight of a crowded dance floor… I… will be on that dance floor.

And I will be dancing.

In an attempt to rationalize my feelings for this song, I’ve rounded up a couple of decent remixes (Manhattan Clique, Calvin Harris) for your listening pleasure.  And if you don’t believe a remix can take a song from shameful to acceptable, listen to Jojo’s Too Little Too Late before and after the Harris Dance Remix. And then email me all your dirty little pop secrets at


10 responses to “Does Your Pop Music Suck? Because Katy Perry Does.

  1. Succinct as usual!

  2. oh, thank god. DB, i knew you wouldn’t let me down.

    and i agree: she’s Zooey Number Two.

  3. phillygrrl

    Haha, DB, MB was worried about this all week! Cheers all around.


  4. Katy can’t hold a melted candle to Zooey Deschanel, the video is amusing but the song definitely sucks.

  5. whoever made this blog/site is totally a low life and has no class, deaf, has the lowest level of appreciation, a hater…etc…and by the way…are you stupid??cause you sounded like one…you know the people who think they are knowledgeable in music but they in reality they are just pretending??your one of them…you cant appreciate music and that makes you a douchebag

  6. what the… haha did u see that guys comment? i dont know why its not showing up here…

  7. haha! it wasn’t approved. i am kind of a douchebag…although i wouldn’t say that has anything to do with my not appreciating katy perry. maybe louise = katy perry. chew on that.

    @PG you should approve the comment! lol.

  8. or i could edit it to make it praise me. POWAHHH!!!

  9. phillygrrl

    Sorry, I was away. Just saw it. Um, Louise, sounds like you’re taking life a LITTLE too seriously. But it’s okay, hate away. No worries.

  10. Part Time Lover

    Pop music is SO DEAD! Where is the talent and the excitement. I mean where is the music when artists like Michael Jackson, Cher, Madonna and Stevie Wonder who were good at their craft and still had fun

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