2009 Father of the Year

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Guest blogger TB on fathers. (Don’t forget Father’s Day is this Sunday!)

Congratulations 53-year-old Douglas Newell! You are PhillyGrrl’s 2009 Father of the Year! Your stance against alcohol’s destructive nature is a testament to all fathers around the world who strive to protect their sons from the deadly talons of the bottle. Not only were you consistent with the daily father-son conversations but you even went as far as to put all your agricultural skills to good use and grow him the best marijuana this side of West Chester! Everyone knows marijuana is far safer than alcohol and asking your son to smoke marijuana instead of drinking alcohol is the pinnacle of fine parenting.

Now we know not all fathers are perfect. You opened the doors of your loving home to a 20-year-old man named Dean Powell. You also did not know he had a heroin problem… and no one could foresee him overdosing on your living room couch which resulted in local authorities being called to your residence, but have no fear Douglas Newell, we are still on your side. So what if you left a “jar of marijuana, a marijuana pipe, marijuana seeds, and a book describing how to grow marijuana” in plain view, good honest men have nothing to hide! Hell, we will even let the two grow labs on the second floor slide because you are just that fucking awesome! (I mean ventilation, watering systems, a timed lighting set-up and six pot plants? Way to take it to the next level!)

You have a degree in electrical engineering degree and you were a successful building systems technician. The only thing that stopped you from working was bad health. So forget about the 90 days to 23 months in prison, you are a pioneer in the truest form surpassed only by Lewis and Clark. The future of parenting has been changed forever and in the days to come fathers will look back on your story for guidance until the end of time. And again, CONGRATULATIONS!

And Judge Ronald C. Nagle? Well he can win PhillyGrrl’s 2009 Conservative Douchbag Judge Award!

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4 responses to “2009 Father of the Year

  1. Yo whats up? I’m Doug’s son and Dean’s best friend. I just wanted to say that I like most of what you wrote but some of your sources are wrong, Dean was 21. But your right about one thing even thou you didn’t come right out and say it. Weed should not be a crime. It’s not immoral or wrong to smoke it, yet its illegal. That’s illogical! I’m a little freaked out about how you got some of the information on my father with out knowing us. It’s whatever though as long as you use your powers of information only for good.

    Bye!

    Yo whats up? Ich bin der Sohn von Doug und Dean’s bester Freund. Ich wollte nur sagen, dass ich das meiste, was Sie geschrieben haben, aber einige der Quellen sind falsch so wollen, war Dean 21. Aber der rechten Seite über eine Sache auch du Sie nicht gleich kommen und sagen es. Weed sollte nicht als ein Verbrechen. Es ist nicht unmoralisch oder falsch, es zu rauchen, aber es ist illegal. Das ist unlogisch! Ich bin ein bisschen ausgeflippt sich, wie Sie einige der Informationen hat meinen Vater mit dem Wissen mit uns auf. Es ist, was aber immer so lange wie Sie Ihre Kräfte von Informationen nur für gut.

    Tschüss!

    Yo whats up? Ik ben zoon van Doug en Dean’s beste vriend. Ik wilde alleen maar zeggen dat ik net als de meeste van wat je geschreven, maar sommige van uw bronnen zijn verkeerd, Dean was 21. Maar je gelijk een ding zelfs gij u niet komen recht uit en zeggen. Weed mag geen misdaad. Het is niet immoreel of verkeerd om het te roken, maar het is illegaal. Dat is onlogisch! Ik ben een beetje hysterisch over hoe je nog wat van de informatie over mijn vader met die kennen ons. Het is wat ooit al zo lang als u gebruik maken van uw bevoegdheden van de informatie alleen voor goed.

    Dag!

  2. Douglas Newell

    Thank you for the honor.
    It is a shame that a tragedy had to be made
    even more tragic by a justice system out of
    control and with no compassion.
    Dean was a great kid and believe it or not
    really nice people can also use drugs.
    Dean had some problems most of them were
    caused by the justice system, but he would
    have given you the shirt of his back if you
    needed it. We all miss him every day.
    As for weed vs. alcohol what can I say,
    its a political thing and there for makes
    absolutely no sense. Thanks Again.
    DCN

  3. wow its awesome to hear from u guys. i actually found out about this a few months ago in an article. sorry for the late reply iv been swamped at school. and updates on ur situation?

  4. Hi TB
    I got out of da joint Sept. 3rd. Jail was an
    eye opener, so many people in there
    shouldn’t be there. I could go on for days but
    I won’t.
    I expected the fines and fees I was whacked
    with but I wasn’t expecting having my
    drivers license suspended for six months.
    Just when you think its over they come up
    with some other punitive crap.
    Thanks for following the never ending story.
    DCN

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