To my hometown of Vineland, NJ

Dear Vineland,

When I was a little kid, I adored you. And even now, as a Philadelphian, I manage to refrain from making Jersey jokes simply because of my regard for you. But please – enough of this nonsense about music festivals. Last summer, there was supposed to be a three-day music festival in Vineland. Our own little Woodstock. My cousins and I were so proud and excited. Our town was cool. We started collecting camp chairs. Made elaborate seating charts. And then. Then you flaked out, Vineland. Some of you formed the a website. The (now-active) NeighborsAgainstRockConcertSite and decided the “logistics” weren’t going to work out.You forced the event planner to cancel the concert. Disaster.

The reasons you didn’t want the concert? Traffic jam nightmares. (It’s three days! Three days!)  You were afraid your the values of your real estate would go down. (Seriously?)  Too many out-of-towners would flood the hospital with their hippie complaints and keep residents from using the facilities. “Concert attendees who overindulge in alcohol/drugs or suffer injuries, heat stroke, etc. will need care.” (So much for Jersey hospitality.) You decided the weather is too unpredictable in August. Wow, great list of reasons there, folks. (More reasons found here.)

And now we have a chance at another concert. “City and county officials are in the planning stages for a music festival here in the fall. But this one won’t be nearly as large as the proposed Vineland Music Festival, which was planned for last summer and then canceled amid public outcry.” [The Daily Journal.]

Please, Vineland. Can’t we just be a little more flexible? How can you fail to understand that bringing in the dirty hippies to our fair town will actually help our economy? I mean, we’re not the small Jersey town you like to think we are. We already have two Walmarts!  And a Starbucks. So please get over whatever ‘rock and roll is the devil’ attitude you have and be a little flexible. Find a good location that doesn’t cause a fire hazard or a parking hazard or a whatever hazard it is you’re claiming prevents you from hosting a concert and get to it. Vineland’s a great place to hang out. More people should know that.  Grow up and embrace outsiders. And I will love you forever. Or at least come visit during the summers.




11 responses to “To my hometown of Vineland, NJ

  1. how’s public transportation to vineland?

  2. Down near Philly (South Jersey), New Jersey is actually really nice — full of posh homes, open space, and pretty shore towns. It’s northern Jersey/Jersey City that feels a little like New York’s smelly armpit.

    Still, the folks in Vineland seem to have contracted a bit of small town neurosis if they think a music festival is a bad thing for the image of the town.

  3. Lolz
    I Hope I can Find Something to Indulge in
    Once we Move over there

  4. Musikfest in Bethlehem is a huge economic boom to that Lehigh Valley former steel town. it is huge and lots of fun. Vineland could have done even better-it has the shore/city location thing down.

    I watched that last year-Vineland missed out.

  5. And I’m all up in arms about the Jersey bashing. South Jersey rocks.

  6. Haha, you only say that because you live in SJ, Dan! But yes, it does :)

  7. K3vo, I’m pretty sure you can take NJ transit down to Vineland, at least last I heard. Anyone else?

  8. And I grew up in South Jersey-Turnersville. And yes-buses go to Vineland. It’ll take about 2 hours, but buses from Center City go their daily.

  9. I live in Vineland, and I am still pissed that this didn’t go through

  10. Same poster from before, still just as pissed

  11. Same here, John. Same here.

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