Forget Long-Distance Relationship. Long-Distance Marriage?

SingleInPhillyGrrl takes on the latest in matrimonial bliss: the long-distance marriage…

I harbor a love of really cheesy, really terrible reality TV.  The Real Housewives franchise?  I don’t miss an episode.  Top Chef?  Words can’t express my excitement about three Philadelphia chefs competing in the upcoming season in Las Vegas.  I’m completely obsessed with the lives and drama that surround the seven friends on Bravo’s latest brain-candy, Miami Social.  But even the sunny lives of the beautiful Miami folk are trumped by my new favorite, Giuliana & Bill.

(For anyone who has lived under a rock since 2000, Bill Rancic is the first winner of The Apprentice.  Giuliana is a lead reporter for E! News.)

Giuliana and Bill must have been those popular kids that were still nice to everyone back in high school.  You want to find a reason to dislike them because they’re so seemingly perfect, but you simply can’t.  Back to the show…

These two, given their jobs, split their time between LA and Chicago.  And it’s not like G works from Chicago when Bill has to be there, and Bill resumes work in LA while G is filming for E! News.   Bill lives mostly in their Chicago house, while Giuliana spends a lot of her time in their LA condo.  They’re able to spend most of the their weekends together, but forget  “waking up next to someone every morning for the rest of your life.”  These two are more likely to wake up next to their BlackBerrys.

I suppose their long-distance relationship made the transition to long-distance marriage easier for these two.  And I’m sure they argue about leaving wet towels on the floor and unwashed dishes in the sink like any other married couple.  But I’m amazed to watch this blissfully in love couple make it work, and make it look appealing.

Let’s talk about the perks of a long-distance marriage, shall we?

  • You never have to worry about how awful you look when you wake up, since no one else is going to see you.
  • You can still harbor some of your secret single behavior that you hide around your significant other for fear of judgement (ironing sheets while watching Pardon The Interruption–yes, I do this.  I like crisp sheets and sports debate).
  • You don’t have to fight for the shower first thing in the morning.
  • You get full control of the remote and TV.
  • You can stay up as late as needed reading, writing, working, or dancing around in your underwear without worrying about waking someone up or hearing “Aren’t you going to sleep yet?”

Long-distance marriage.  Doesn’t sound so bad.  I suppose I’ll have to find myself a long-distance boyfriend.  Or just a long-distance date.

Discuss–could you do the long-distance dating/relationship/marriage?

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24 responses to “Forget Long-Distance Relationship. Long-Distance Marriage?

  1. You are toooooo cute!!! I found your link on my twitter and I’m so glad I found your blog. I am sooo happy you like our show so much. We are hoping to make marriage look cool again…and that doesn’t mean flipping over tables and cursing each other out for the sake of getting ratings.

    As for the pros of a long-distance relationship…you hit the nail on the head with a lot of them. A biggie for me is not worrying about waking Bill up when my alarm goes off at 4:35 in the morning!!! When he’s in town, I have to tip toe around in the dark and I even use the guest bathroom and shower so I don’t wake him. Not the most pleasant way to start my day but hey, in relationships you gotta compromise and I know it means a lot to him. So you better believe when he’s in Chi, I jump out of bed, turn on the TV and make tons of noise in the morning because I am so happy to not have to worry about waking my man up! Yay!!!

    Catch ya later,
    Giuliana

  2. Discuss–could you do the long-distance dating/relationship/marriage?

    I can’t do long-distance dating. Not a long-distance marriage/relationship. But I’ve always harbored a secret fantasy of the separate houses deal. (In fact, as I was eating Reese’s pieces on my bed last night while watching goofy YouTube videos it occurred to me how impossible it would be to share my room with someone. )

    Remember how in those old ‘I Love Lucy’ shows, Desi and Lucy had those separate twin beds in every hotel they stayed at?

    Separate homes are the new twin beds.

  3. singleinphillygrrl

    Giuliana! I love that you commented! It seriously made my day!

    LD (long distance) is rough on any relationship, but I do firmly believe that any relationship built on love, strength, and trust can last through anything. I would love yours and Bill’s thoughts on migrating the LDR (long-distance relationship) into the long-distance marriage, and how modern couples should make it work. You guys are awesome, love the show! Can’t wait to watch more!

  4. very nice, cute read.. lol. i’ve been in a long-distance relationship before. it sucked for me. dunno, but you posted here is kinda cute. haha.

    anyways, if you have time, you could also check-out my blog too:

    http://himynameisniel.blogspot.com

  5. Long distance relationship? I guess there are pros (not having 2 make the bed or take care of dishes right away spring to mind) & late night romantic “I miss you” phone calls, w/the occasional naughty bits thrown in. ;-) Absence makes the heart grow fonder? BUT this would only work for me if we had 100% TRUST. Without that it just couldn’t work for me. And we’d need to try to see each other AT LEAST once a month Wouldn’t want to do long-distance for very long tho. Too easy for one or both to be tempted or have a little too much to drink…you know what I’m sayin’.

  6. I’m currently in a long distance relationship and it hard alot of times. The number one thing that makes my work I think is trust, because a lot of times haters would try to get in between a couple.

    Now a long distance marriage I’m not sure I can do that!

    Guiliana is so nice I love that she engages with her fans! Can’t wait to watch the show!

  7. Lots of cliches up there, so here’s mine: the only thing better than a long distance relationship, is no relationship at all.

  8. Oh, and PG, your “perks” are right on! :)

  9. That wasn’t me, it was SIPG. “SingleinPhillygrrl.” Haha, new guest contributor :)

  10. Okay, okay. So I’m easily confused…Phillygrrl…SingleInPhillyGirl…can “UsedToBeSingleInPhillyGirl” be far behind? The point remains that the “perks” business is still the strongest part of that particular post.. And, as for you , Phillygrrl, you still get props for your Reese’s Pieces observation.

    Nonetheless, the question both of you might want to ask yourselves – or not – is, why are romantic relationships (long distance or otherwise) a [necessary/compulsory] given – particularly, in Western culture, when clearly, and by any rational standard, they should have been outlawed ages ago…along with Hallmark, Zales and 1-800-Flowers.

    Oh, and “Lead Reporter for E-News,” now that’s funny!

  11. singleinphillygrrl

    djwild…the way my life is going, I don’t see myself becoming “FormerlyKnownAsSingleGrrl” anytime soon. Nor am I naive to believe that “happily ever after” is something to expect. I do think that relationships, just like anything else in life worth having, comes with work, and I appreciate this TV show offering a different POV on marriage and love.

    And maybe I’m just jaded about relationships, but a long-distance one doesn’t sound so bad to me, hence the “perks” being the strongest part of the post. They are some pretty good benefits :)

  12. I think if both people are a “perfect match”, they can make it through anything, including long distance relationships. Personally, I’d like to have them around :P

  13. SIPG…please be advised that I am a bitter old man…reclusive, misanthropic, cynical and all the rest. Furthermore, and somewhat ironically, I think, I’m not accustomed to being taken seriously…a set of circumstances which causes me to see myself as sort of miserable, but playful, notwithstanding.

    Having said that, allow me to add, that the thing which concerns me most when the talk turns to relationships, is that virtually all of us (and I’m including me in this group) don’t recognize how much we allow our egos (and, in this case, I’m using “ego” to mean the projection of our own desire system on to the rest of the world) to dictate the nature or even the definition of our relationships (particularly our “romantic” relationships, I think); and that’s rarely comes from a productive kind of energy. Ram Dass has lots of cool stuff to say about this (and much of it is on YouTube) in case you are interested.

    Now the problem with all of those words is that they are mostly ego driven too….so whattya gonna do? Well, what I hope you will do is pay minimal attention to most of what I say, and take none of it seriously, while continuing to post your very clever and very funny observations on PG’s blog site.

  14. singleinphillygrrl

    djwild–I’m just busting your chops. I love the comments, and take none of it seriously and love the fact that you took the time to comment. PLEASE keep commenting–I need a second set of eyes on my dating/relationship theories (instead of methods, seeing as this advice has gotten me no closer to finding a man).

  15. SIPG: Chops – Busting, acknowledged! :)

  16. love this line of posts. I’ve been in a long distance relationships (Philly and Hartford) for 5 years and 2 months now. I know–hard to believe. We’ve had our ups and our downs (not always the fun kind, either). Right now we’re in a total DOWN. I’ve gotten to the point (about a year ago) where I just really can’t handle the distance, and I want to be married. He’s not ready, and not comfy even giving it a time frame. We both were separated from spouses when we met, and his divorce was ugly, drawn out, and well–just the worst you could imagine. So I totally understand his apprehension. And, making it all the more confusing and tough is the fact that I have 2 kids here, and he has 3 kids there (who live with their mom), and while it’s easier for him to move here (I wouldn’t be allowed to move my kids out of state), he doesn’t want to feel that he’s abandoning the kids.

    The whole thing totally sucks right now, and he’s thinking maybe we should have ended this years ago because the heartache is so horrid.

    Anyone been in this predicament?

  17. Oh, and just to add that we both really do love each other immensely, and we are the best of friends. We talk several times a day, get together about e/o weekend and spend about 3-4 weeks together when off from work. There are so many wonderful things about our relationship, and we are a great “team”. That’s why this stinks.

  18. For all those willing to drop everything for love: DTC is looking to reunite one long-distance couple for Valentine’s Day.

    To nominate a couple, visit here:
    http://apps.facebook.com/dropeverything/

    http://www.dropeverythingforlove.com

    or email me directly:
    kozanecka@gmail.com

  19. I have been in a long distance marriage for the past 2 and a half years, after being married and living together for 7 and it SUCKS! My husband had to work out of town and then switch careers (while I was pregnant with my second child) and it takes a toll on a marriage and on a family. I would not recommend it at any cost.

  20. I have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years now. We like in different states, 2 hours apart. My children are grown but mommy duty never ends. His son is 13 and lives with him 1/2 the time. We have most of our weekends together and occasionally take vacation time from work to be together. I thought it was great for me because I didn’t want to get married or live with someone ever again. It’s not my cup of tea. I like having my own space and doing my own thing but I love being committed to one person. I want that emotional closeness. We don’t really go out a lot and do the dating things. We are more settled like a family already. I never thought I would find a man that agreed with my strange thoughts and demands of a relationship but I did. He is everything I could have hoped for and more. He is very encouraging and supportive of all aspects. After reading this post it made me realize, I’m not the only one out there. I’m also thinking I could do this…. I could marry him. I love him, we have had our up’s and down’s like any relationship but our communication is strong and neither of us is willing to give up on this relationship. We want the challenges to make us stronger. He’s a man I admire and respect, we share values and morals, strength and support…. We don’t NEED one another. We chose to be together. We are each capable of supporting our homes and lifestyles…. I think for us, it makes sense! Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. I enjoyed finding this. It has given me a different perspective. I also think I want to do another non-traditional thing… I want to be the one to propose. Not yet, there’s no rush. It’s only been two years but if things continue this well; I definitely want him to be my husband! We’ve already verbalized our commitment. Why not show our family and friends how important and strong our love is.

  21. I have been married for 21 years and have been in a long distance marriage for the past 7 years. A friend of mine did it for 12, but his wife I guess couldn’t continue and she found someone.
    My husband comes home every 10 weeks or so for two weeks. It is hard when he leaves….depressing for me …I am okay after a day or so…I bounce back and get on with my life. At this point, we don’t have much choice. Somebody has to earn money as we have one daughter in university and a son that will be going in a couple of years. (Husband could not find a job here after we relocated to Canada in 2001, so after two years went back) We see and talk every night on skype, use email and text so technology is a life saver. I have support with the kids as I just plunk them down in front of the computer and he can take over….Birthdays I have been known to take the webcam, attach it to the chair and Daddy gets to sing happy birthday along with us. I think everybody thinks our family is crazy, but you know…you do what you gotta do. I try and laugh about the situation. I tell people that my kids have a Virtual Dad. Not surprisingly I have women tell me that they envy me….they wish their husbands would move away and just drop by from time to time! I joke about it, but it doesn’t mean I like the situation. If I win the lotto we will all be together tomorrow…in the meantime I take it day by day, keep busy (went back to school two years ago at age 51), take care of our horses/dogs and live life. I consider myself very lucky…we have our house, my kids are healthy, my husband is employed. Yes I get lonely and I know he does too, but things could always be worse. Good luck out there to everyone out there in a long distance marriage or relationship!

  22. hi, very nice for informative, i have been long relationship for the past 3 years…..

  23. Chris,
    Your comment is heart saving. It’s encouraging to see how positive you are after doing this for so long.I just got married and my husband lives in another country. He will get here in Canada in about 6 months but these 6 months feel just too long.But yes, you are right things could be worse. Thanks for this encouragement.

  24. Hi!
    I’m 22 year old married boy…
    I can never ever think about these things coz I Love My Wife more than anything.. She loves me the same .. Even noone can imagine that much love…. We share every single thing to eachother… No fight for shower coz we always have shower together. We never complain to eachother that u r looking like this or that… U know what Guyss…
    Love doesn’t see these things… Actually noone can go to the peak of the love. it’s really enjoyable… It’s just the most beautiful thing in the world… Huh.. i love my wife so much and can never forget her.. A single moment without her, hurts me badly… i cry everytime daily and so as she.. (we always talk on the phone… Always…
    She is not with me, she lives in london and im here in pk…

    So Guys ! Never let ur love go far from u. U r lucky if u have ur love with u…. :,(

    …Spread Love….

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