The edited version of this article is found over at Sepia Mutiny. This version, my first draft, is twice as long and twice as annoyed/unfunny. Also twice as ineffective, according to the people who read it over for me. But, what the heck, here’s the initial response, for your edification.
Dear Ms. Miller,
On June 1, you posted a piece in The Huffington Post’s Living section called “How to Date an Indian (Advice for the Non-Indian.”) or as I like to call it “How to Drive Away Dates with Your Unbelievable Combination of Desperation and Ignorance.” Apparently, as someone whose bio states that she has “lived in Mumbai for three years,” and who is in a relationship with a man of Indian descent, you consider yourself well-qualified to advise the rest of the world on the best means to bag a brown man/woman. Or as you write, “my husband… is from New Delhi, which, in addition to providing me with lots of Indian friends and in-laws, have given me a pretty good perspective on the desirability of the people from the world’s largest democracy — and how to woo them.” Given your ventures in dating/relationship-based businesses (including a magazine and a dating website), I have to say I was misled into believing you had something relevant to say. Instead, I ended up laying on the floor, guffawing hysterically.
Let’s break down what you told folks in your article. Before we begin, I want to applaud you for not exoticizing and fetishizing brown people in a manner that detracts from a basic understanding and appreciation of another’s culture. Continue reading
Probably not, but just in case you were wondering, I wanted to let you know that I’m still around, writing regularly for Sepia Mutiny, the biggest, baddest, brownest, most belligerent South Asian blog on the net. I forget to cross-post sometimes most of the time, which is probably not a good thing, but just a reminder that you can catch some of my stuff on Sepia Mutiny. Here’s a quick checklist of the stuff I’ve blogged for them since I began in August, starting from the most recent post.
- Q&A with @PorkAdventurer aka Abdullah Saeed. By far one of my most favorite interviews ever. Abdullah and I met at the Brew Ha Ha cafe near 12 and Walnut. He had Earl Grey, I had mint tea. (No bacon, alas.) I predict great things for this one, folks. Great things. And he’s a Philadelphian, profiling Philadelphia places! Love it!
- Khan Takes on Manhattan. Getting the chance to cover an actual Bollywood press conference was definitely a dream come true. And I didn’t trip (too much) over cables and whatnot. And I asked a question and my voice didn’t shake! I can haz be professional? Perhaps. See? Blogging for SM has it perks :P
- Zardari Tells Crowd to Shaddup. Hmm, either we don’t have a lot of Pakistani readers, or I just didn’t write anything thought-provoking. Guessing it was the latter.
- Tea with Chachaji. Event listing. Send me your events, yo.
Taking the City of Brotherly Love to the biggest, baddest, brownest blog on the Net: Sepia Mutiny. Yup, gonna be a guest contributor at Sepia Mutiny this summer. Still laughing at how the discussion went from a ‘welcome PG’ theme to a ‘damn those Eagles’ vein. Check it out.
But more importantly, take a look at my inaugural post. It’s about all my favorite things. Bacon. And cheesesteaks. And food carts. And Philadelphia. Freel free to comment! (Okay, it’s about kinda/sorta all of that, maybe. I leave the hard-hitting political stuff to the pundits.) But comment anyway.
I really really do. Bacon is a staple of my diet.
But there’s no way Padma Lakshmi really eats this crap. I mean, I do. Every week. But supermodels don’t. Oh wait, wannabe supermodel (snark). But seriously, isn’t it a little irresponsible for a “chef” to promote fast food. I mean, Rachael Ray did it, but still…..coffee is coffee. If that was crack for kids, what’s a bacon cheeseburger?
(Phillygrrl does not any point endorse the eating of bacon cheeseburgers on her website. Certainly more young kids follow the example of Padma Lakshmi than P.G. Kthxbye.)
Besides, wasn’t she a vegetarian? Poor kid, she totally rebelled. (FYI, I stole this from Sepia Mutiny. Check out their post on P.L.) Of course, seeing as I’m a huge Salman Rushdie fan, I still have a few sour grapes when it comes to this carnivore.
I’m guessing I don’t look that sexy when I ravage my Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger on the subway. Speaking of which, I haven’t seen a Hardee’s since I was six. Maybe one in like, Delaware somewhere on some road trip. Anyone else? I could’ve sworn it was a franchise that died out. Only to be revitalized by Lakshmi!