Does Your Pop Music Suck? A Slut Anthem.

Check in every Friday for guest blogger DonBito’s thrashing of your favorite pop songs. And don’t forget to email your suggestions for next week’s blog to wegotthebits@gmail.com.

This week: “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga.

How can you trash Poker Face, whose throwback synth beat and thinly-veiled sexual metaphors have taken America by storm?

I’ll tell you, readers: You effing can’t. That’s because Poker Face takes everything great about modern pop music and rolls it up into a big questionable-bodily-fluid-and-candy-coated pill and shoves it down your eager throat. And when it’s over you can’t shake the feeling that your ears have been molested…and you liked it.

It makes you want to dance. It makes you want to have bathroom sex with a stranger. It makes you want to roll the windows down and do car karaoke. It makes you want to take a scalding hot shower and compulsively scrub every inch of your body with lye soap but you keep getting distracted and touching yourself.

Five Reasons I <3 Blogging

In the vein of the “advice” columns I have felt like writing of late…

When I started writing for phillygrrl.com, I got a lot of flack from my frenemies. Advice I was given from fellow bloggers?

“Blogging is so 1997!”

“Blogging is giving away your ideas for free.”

“You’re never going to make any money, what’s the point? Blogging doesn’t have an ROI!”

“Don’t blog until you’re somebody. You’re just wasting your time.”

Ah, kiddies. I beg to differ. Here are five reasons I like to blog:

Desi Gals (Don’t) Get Married

This article, by Philadelphia Examiner Hitha Palepu (who also wrote a great piece on Falu! that was published on The Desi Diva had me laughing, and empathizing.

It really just may be an Indian thing.

However, it was all I heard this weekend.  My thoughtful gifts for my dad’s birthday (a Shutterfly picture book filled with the good, bad, and ugly of Dr. Palepu’s life) and Mother’s Day (flowers, brunch, a pizza stone she’s been wanting for over a year) were overlooked by the fact that they both didn’t get what they really want: a son-in-law.

Definitely a Pakistani thing as well. Ugh, holidays are more and more turning into less of a family celebration and more of a group guilt trip.

My advice to Hitha is the same good ol’ Nancy Reagan told her kids. “Just say no.”

Where PG meets Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel

Okay, not really. Because meeting implies some sort of shaking of hands, or taking of photos/autographs and the like. And I don’t do that.

But still, nice to know that while 19-year old  Dev Patel is town (presumably working with M. Night Shyamalan on The Last Airbender) he hung out with us Philly folks at North Star Bar to catch a performance of Falu. Yay! Another Falu fan!